 By Vaughan Savidge
(Bell ringing in playground and children's voices, roll-call
etc.)
Inside the school assembly hall.
- Master:
- Settle down please. As you probably already know, headmaster is tied up at the moment
with Matron Dunn ... nothing to snigger about ... yes you boy... wait for me outside my
study. There are several things he's asked me to tidy up before he returns to work in a
few days. First, he has asked me to congratulate the boys who won school awards ... Purves
for mathematics ... Pixton for elocution. He will be presenting you with your prizes in
the near future. He's also asked me to clear up the unpleasant business over half term
when several boys and girls got carried away with the idea of a few days off. Eddington,
see me in my study after assembly! That is all.
(knock at door)
- Master:
- Come! Ah, Eddington. Now if you can, explain your behaviour over the last few weeks. (pause) I see, so you say the girls wanted to share your
tuck and you didn't want to share it with them. (pause) You
say you have shareholders to think about! Eddington, if we are to arrive at a conclusion
over this matter we must not allow fantasy to cloud the truth. Surely there was enough
tuck for you to allow the girls a little? (pause) Well
that was very greedy of you and your friends, and as the ringleader I'm afraid the school
must reserve the right to take disciplinary action against you - as unfair as that may
seem. Bend over Eddington. Let's say six of the best, plus six per cent for long service,
plus 14 per cent for cost of living ... I make that 24 strokes. What say you Eddington?
- Eddington:
- Oww, sir.
(caning noises fade to end)
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